We all either HATE or LOVE gay “dating apps”. Hate ‘em, hate ‘em, hate ‘em, but we love love love love them. When we get on, we stare at our phone’s screen and think, “Why am I wasting my time on these things?” Let’s be honest, gay dating apps in general are a drag. They suck up time and energy, leaving the end user completely depleted.
Intellectually, We all know this. But the problem is, We keep going back to them.
We may delete an app like Grindr and swear to being the Virgin Mary reborn, but a few weeks later, guess what? We are reinstalling it. But the question is, why? Why do we hate these apps, but keep coming back for more?
Well, here’s seven reasons why these apps are completely toxic, and three reasons why we all use them anyway.
1. We’re Always So Defensive
No matter how much we think we’re rough and tough, we all are human beings with feelings. The second one of us gets hurt we start putting up walls. Then, once we’ve made our bed we’ve got to lie in it (and often without another man in it).
Once hurt we change our profiles and add heated text saying, “No fakes. Tired of the drama. Tired of guys with no cars.” The thing is, we create an environment that’s toxic and hostile.
2. We Don’t Talk
This one goes out to all the dating app users, not just the gay ones. Ever had a Tinder match never message you or respond to yours? Ever matched someone and clicked keep swiping?
Once we get matched we often lose interest in the other person. Let’s face it, it’s easier and more fun to swipe away and judge each other than take the time to get to know one another. We’re all a little selfish that way.
3. Our Standards Are Erratic
We place our standards high hoping that we can nab that hot guy with the abs or at least that cute guy with the pretty smile. That’s not to say we can’t, but we don’t wanna consider the guys who have one or two things we don’t like.
Our standards stand so high, but once those rejections come in they drop (and they drop hard). Next thing you know, you’re left low and dry and with a big sigh.
4. It Gives You Options
Let’s be honest though, gay dating apps (and dating apps in general) make things more convenient. Thanks to these tools, we now can see how many people are out there ready to meet up for hook ups, dates, and more.
Apps have made it possible for us to connect in an easier way than ever before. This is especially important for people in smaller towns who may not realize how many men are out there at arm’s reach.
5. It’s an Ego Boost
Plus, the world is so negative that we all could use a little bit of happy. We all want to feel wanted and having a lot of matches and messages does the trick. It tells us that we’re still in the game and hittin’ strong. Hey, there’s no shame in wanting to feel good.
6. There’s Still a Chance of Finding Someone
Then, there are those days when we’re at our lowest and we just want a warm body to cuddle up to. When feeling especially single and lonely, gay dating apps give us the chance and hope of finding “the one.” He’s out there. He could be just a half an hour away.
And if he isn’t, we can find someone else in the meantime.
7. It’s a way to stay connected
If you work most of the time or aren’t around a gayborhood, the apps can be an easy way to talk with people. Sure, social media is cool and yes, visiting sites like GPB can be fun – but sometimes, the apps fill a communication void that other venues just can’t.
Personally, it’s one of the reasons I find them to be toxically addictive!
At the end of the day, We are not a fan of gay dating apps. We wouldn’t recommend them to anybody, but we also gotta admit they’ve helped me out more than a few times.
We know, the cyber relationship between me and gay dating apps… its complicated. Call me a walking, talking oxymoron. ?